TRUMP THE TEACHER
Permit a nanosecond of nonsense.
ASSERTION/THESIS:
Donald J. Trump is a great
teacher.
ARGUMENT/SUPPORT:
As a president elected by the tyranny of the minority, Trump exercises
his absolute right as the leader of an imaginary free world to articulate great
slogans that leak from the bitch's brew of wisdom. In Classroom America, he tweets. He is aware that American citizens,
regardless of their political beliefs, levels of intelligence, and ethnic
postures, do pay attention to his words.
From the maculate vantage of his mind, he believes he is doing what the
dollar bill motto "In God We Trust" compels him to do: teach the
washed and unwashed masses. To promote
critical thinking, Trump illuminates each day how our nation has costumed its
primitive barbarism as liberal democracy.
Only by reading and absorbing great amounts of insanity,
Trump thunders, can our nation mend the errors of its ways and once again
become a great conservative democracy and
resume its divinely ordained mandate to guide the history of the brave great
world into a future. These are hard
times. Abandon the dreadful audacity of
hope. Accept the hard facts, even if an
hour or so later they prove to be factoids.
Do not squander the opportunity to be great again in dreams of the
American Dream. Become the women and men
who have gumption, gall, and guts to spit into the eyes of nightmares. Be
post-Enlightenment, post-tritely great.
Trump is the epitome of the great teacher. He distills the essence of the messianic in a great alembic of tough love. His great students love him unconditionally. They take great notes and promptly forget the
history of what they think they have heard.
Trump exercises his absolute right as a member of the secular clergy to
award each of his students a great grade at the end of class.
Trump is a great teacher because he is a great disciple
of Machiavelli, one who demands that his students navigate the unreadable prose
of Jacque Derrida's Specters of Marx
(New York: Routledge, 1994) and other texts of dubious merit. He promotes the deconstruction of
deconstruction; he terrorizes his students to consult dictionaries and to
analyze the histories of times past. He
inspires fear and great trembling and the great possibility that soon and very
soon great Americans will abandon the fleshpots of Eden and do great work in
the fascist labs of Hell. Whether we
like him or not, Trump is a great teacher who instructs us how to read the
great progress of our lives with great and entertaining gusto.
Jerry W. Ward, Jr. May
23, 2017
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